You have been asked to be a bridesmaid and your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be one filled with joy, celebration and plenty of (hopefully happy) tears! However, while being a bridesmaid is undoubtedly a special honour, there are a few questions you really should ask before saying ‘yes!’
The Maid of Honour is considered the bride’s right hand and, therefore, has slightly more responsibility than the other bridesmaids. The Maid of Honour’s duties involve helping the bride with the planning process and coordinating events in the lead up to the wedding day, as well as tending to the bride on the wedding day.
The Maid of Honour will help fix the bride’s gown and veil throughout the day and will carry her bouquet for her during the ceremony. The Maid of Honour is, traditionally, also the only bridesmaid to act as a witness of the marriage and sign the marriage certificate.
1. Will I have to pay for my dress?
Costs can become an issue if the bride selects an outfit which is very expensive – or something the bridesmaid won’t ever wear again, as this can result in some uncomfortable conversations. If you will be expected to pay for any bridesmaid-related gear – and you won’t be able to afford it – or don’t want to spend the money, politely decline. It can be awkward but it’s better than finding yourself lumped with a huge bill you can’t afford.
2. How much time am I expected to commit?
That depends on whether you’re a bridesmaid or a Maid of Honour – and what the bride needs done.
If your bride is having your dresses made then you may be required to attend multiple fittings, some of which may require travel. Some brides may request weekly or monthly gatherings with their bridesmaids, and this can be a dilemma for bridesmaids who live far away. Your bride may also have many events leading up to the wedding such as an engagement party, bridal shower, or any bridal party activities, day trips or pre-wedding getaways.
If you feel that you won’t have much spare time to commit then you may have to be honest with the bride and tell her, rather than accepting the role of bridesmaid only to then have to decline attending some of her events or activities. To save any future heartache or misunderstandings it may be best to ask the bride what her expectations are before you commit to being her bridesmaid.
3. What are the extra costs involved?
Some brides will have many events and activities leading up to their wedding day and, often, the bridesmaids will put in money here or there for particular things. For example, the bride may have an engagement party, a bridal shower or a pre-wedding getaway and other activities. These things will require money and, traditionally, the bridesmaids are expected to cover the cost of the bride for occasions such as the Bridal shower.
If the bride chooses to go interstate or overseas for any of these events, or maybe she’s planning a destination wedding too, you need to consider whether you can afford to be in the bridal party. If cost is an issue for you, you want to speak up before accepting the role.
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4. Do I have a say in what I’m wearing?
Sometimes you will have a say and sometimes you won’t. This depends on how flexible the bride is.
There are many different body shapes and sizes. Not every woman will fit the same dress in the same way and not every bridesmaid will be comfortable wearing the bride’s chosen bridesmaid gown, which may not match her shape.
Prior to accepting her offer, you should ask the bride if she will allow you a say in what you wear on the wedding day, rather than resenting her later for making you wear a dress which is highly unflattering or that makes you feel uncomfortable especially after spending a lot. Be honest and tell her that you would like to know what she will expect you to wear before you sign up for the job.
5. What are my responsibilities?
This is one of the most important questions to ask your bride, as it is imperative to know what she expects of you before you commit to the job. If she expects you to travel for a wild Hen’s weekend and you can’t afford an overseas trip, it’s probably better to have that discussion before considering being an official member of the bridal party.
she may require you to help her use the ladies room on her big day. Whatever the task is, it is important you know what you are in for before you commit. For a more complete list of a bridesmaid’s key duties, click here.
6. Who else is in the bridal party?
This question may not apply to everyone, especially if you are related to the bride as you will know who her nearest and dearest are and, probably, like them. However, this may be worth asking if you know the bride is friends or acquaintances with certain people you don’t feel comfortable around or you don’t get along with.
Other fantastically awkward situations could include one of the groomsmen being an ex you don’t get along with or your current partner’s ex. Whatever the case, if you feel this applies to you it’s definitely worth asking the question before you find yourself spending all of the wedding events avoiding certain people.
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7. Do I have to say ‘yes?’
Maybe you aren’t very close with the bride and you aren’t sure why she asked you to be a bridesmaid, maybe you are very shy and don’t feel comfortable being the center of attention at an event like a wedding, or maybe you don’t have the time or money to dedicate to the position.
Whatever the reason, if you feel that you can’t or shouldn’t accept her offer, it is best to be very honest with her. Tell her how you feel and why you feel that way, and hopefully if she is a true friend she will understand.
While it can be a lot of work, being a bridesmaid is an honour and is lots of fun. If you’ve been asked to be a bridesmaid and you’ve asked your bride these questions, at least you know that you can happily and wholeheartedly commit yourself to the experience and create fantastic memories that you will no doubt treasure for years to come.
For made to measure bridesmaid dresses, whatsapp:+2348132560057, Email: sensagreene@gmail.com
XOXO
Sensa
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